Loma on alkanut

Dear Mr Z

It might come as a surprise to you, but here in Finland we have our very own language. It is called Finnish and it differs rather dramatically from, say, the English language. There are many reasons for this and I do not really have time to get into that now. Let me assure you, however, that the local customers tend to understand Finnish better than English. That is why we prefer to use the Finnish language in our products --

Dear Mr Z

According to the 24-page agreement you made us sign we have the right to sell your product in Finland. Finland is something that you Americans might call a "foreign country". Moreover, a so-called "foreign language" is spoken there. Yes, foreign, that's roughly the same as "not familiar". To you, that is. Let me assure you, however, that it is very much a familiar language to, say, me --

Dear Mr Z

It is a widespread belief here in Europe that all you Americans are stupid. So far I myself have been a firm believer in the exact opposite; let me assure you, however, that after reading your last e-mail I am strongly tempted to change sides --

Dear Mr Z

I greatly appreciate your perceptivity. Meanwhile, could you perhaps consider the possibility of appreciating my command of my own native language? Let me assure you --

Dear Mr Z

You are a moron. I am strongly tempted to attack you with a pointed stick --

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Dear Mr Z

Thank you for your perceptive and helpful remarks. Let me assure you, however, that the typo you pointed out on page 1 is actually not a typo at all, but instead the Finnish equivalent of the word "and". In fact all the mistakes you pointed out are actually words written in the Finnish language.

Yours faithfully,
Urpo